I feel like an old light bulb, slowly dimming, threatening to go out any second. I had such a long day today, and am so ready to just go to sleep, but I have to post this. If I miss a day, it will be so easy to just miss another day and another and another.
I went to an iftar party today! The family who hosted it hosts it every year, so it’s always something to look forward to. Before eating iftar, we fill baskets to send to Muslim human service centers. They are meant to be Eid gifts for families who may not be fortunate enough to have anything nice on Eid for themselves. It’s a really fun, well-intentioned project and I enjoy it every year. It is also a time where I can see friends who I don’t see very often, which is always nice.
So I cheated on my youtube ban this morning and spent a couple hours watching a ton of youtube videos. Some of them were about Islam, but the majority of them were for entertainment. I know, it totally goes against one of my goals. I really have no excuse except that I was bored and tired (I woke up earlier than usual). May Allah keep me strong…
Except for the morning, I pretty much spent most of the day preparing for the party. I was bringing Tasbeehs to put in the baskets, so I was gathering them as well as making some. That was my day.
I didn’t get to read my Qur’an before the party, but that is one of the goals I am going to be absolutely diligent of, so I read it when I got home. I am just flying through surahs in the English Qur’an, because they are getting so short. I read Surah 38, 39, and started 40. One of the ayahs in surah 39, Surah Az-Zumar (“The Crowds”) just gave me the chills. It is ayah 42, which says, “It is God Who takes the souls at their death; And from those who do not die during their sleep (He takes as they sleep): Those for whom He has ordered death, He does not let (them return to life), but He sends the others (to their bodies) for a length of time. Surely, in this, are (His) Signs for those who think.” Basically, God takes our souls when we are sleeping and keeps those whose time it is to die, and sends the rest back. It just demonstrates how we are truly powerless against God’s will. It is up to him when we die and when we stay alive. I mean, I already knew that, but it’s just so much more vivid when described in this way.
With that chilling thought, I am now going to try to go to sleep. Allahumma bismika amutu wa ahya. By Your name, Allah, I die and I live.
*IFTAR PICTURE OF THE DAY*
Biryani, Cholay, Mediterranean Chicken, and Indian Chili Chicken. (All made by the host and other guests)