E is for Entitlement
It is one of my biggest pet peeves, and it is so prevalent in our society. So many interpersonal problems I hear about often boil down to this concept of entitlement.
It gets particularly nasty is when it comes to male-female relations. I am so disgusted when I encounter or hear about men who feel “entitled” to the attention of women.
Allow me to share a story. The following is an actual experience that my cousin went through, and she has given me permission to share it with all of you:
She works as a receptionist, and one day as one of the clients was leaving, he stopped at her desk and says “I can’t leave this building without telling you that I think you’re beautiful. I would love if I could have your number and maybe we could get coffee or something sometime.”
She calmly replies, “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to give you my number.”
“What, do you have a boyfriend or something?”
“No, I’m just not interested.”
He replies, “Well, you don’t have to be such a bitch about it.”
Okay, I think we can all agree that the last comment was totally uncalled for. He was coming on to her and she politely refused. End of story. But let’s backtrack:
The first time she declined, he automatically assumed that it was because she was already taken. That is entitlement. He assumed that the only reason why she would not want to start some kind of relationship with him is that she was already in a relationship with someone else. It had nothing to do with the fact that she didn’t know him or what her preferences were in who she chooses to start relationships with. He believed that if he gave her a nice compliment, he was entitled to receive her phone number.
But wait, there’s more. Later, when she told a male coworker about the situation, he goes “Well you can’t blame him. You’re hot.”
-pause while I bang my head against my desk in frustration-
Boys, listen up: A girl’s attractiveness does not determine your right to inquire about her personal life. You. Are. Not. Entitled. To. Her.
Compliment her? Fine.
Make conversation? Fine.
But when she decides she does not want to continue the relationship, you have no right to do anything except respect her decision. And this goes both ways. Ladies, the guy is allowed to be disinterested in you without being considered “gay.”
I so badly wanted to believe that this type of entitlement didn’t exist outside of dramatic TV shows, but this experience plus the countless “prank” videos and tinder screenshots out there on the internet prove otherwise.